Grace Toward Others, Discipline Within: A Biblical Path to Godly Leadership

Being tolerant with others and strict with yourself is a call to live with both humility and discipline.
It’s the quiet balance that shapes character, strengthens leadership, and reflects spiritual maturity.

Being tolerant with others means recognizing that everyone is fighting battles you may never see. Different life experiences, limitations, fears, and levels of understanding shape how people show up. Tolerance doesn’t mean lowering standards or excusing poor behavior; it means leading with patience, empathy, and grace.

It means correcting without crushing.
Teaching without shaming.
And remembering that growth often happens at a slower pace than we’d like.

When we extend tolerance, we create space for people to rise instead of retreat.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
— Ephesians 4:32

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”
— Galatians 6:1

“Love is patient and kind… it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:4, 7

Being strict with yourself is the other side of that responsibility. It means holding yourself to a higher standard than you could ever ask of anyone else.

No excuses.
No shifting blame.
No waiting for motivation.

It’s choosing discipline when comfort is available, ownership when justification would be easier, and consistency when no one is watching. A strict standard for yourself builds credibility, character, and earned confidence.

“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.”
— 2 Corinthians 13:5

“But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.”
— 1 Corinthians 9:27

“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
— Proverbs 16:32

When these two principles live together, they shape a leader worth following. You become someone who demands a great deal from yourself and offers grace to others. You stop measuring people by your strengths and start measuring yourself by your values.

In a world that is quick to judge others and often excuses itself, this mindset quietly sets you apart. Over time, it doesn’t just change you, it changes the culture around you.

“Whoever is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much.”
— Luke 16:10

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
— Philippians 2:4

A Prayer

Father,
Teach us to live with both grace and discipline. Please help us to be patient with others and honest with ourselves. Give us hearts that restore gently and lives that pursue holiness seriously. Shape our character in the quiet places, and let our faith be evident in how we lead, serve, and grow.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

By Ian Voisine